In Sync With Sickness

Earlier, when I used to fall sick, I would remember my parents, a common practice with many people in my age-group. Today, over 15 years of staying outside, the feeling continues albeit with an additional feature. For the beginners, I was sent to a boarding school after Class IX despite my silent protest, with an expectation that I would come out as Top Ten in Class X exams which ended as a big flop. May be that's why I claim to love "Taare Jameen Par" more than the minor protagonist, Darshil Safari. Coming back to where I was, now-a-days when I fall sick, I do think about parents but I spend a large chunk of my bed-ridden thinking on my current scenario, may be listening to my heart. Unlike earlier, I am not consuming any medicine so quickly thus letting this sickness sync within me and make me come out as a stronger mortal. The critic in my subconscious could interpret this as yet another sign of revolt against surrendering myself so quickly to a doctor, the profession that my father orginally wanted me to be in. I believe this sickness is more to do with fatigue than any illness. Fatigue borne out of boredom, of seeing the same objects, hearing their sparkless voices and witnessing the same practices even without an illusion. I hate this sameness of life which apparently mock at me. Thus not visiting a doctor in a sarkari hospital is my way of revolt against this culture of sameness.

When my boss asked me of not checking in the hospital, I preferred to be quiet. Blame it on my 10-days tryst with Yashoda Hospital at Hyderabad in August 2004. A great human being in the form of Dr TDR and his advice to the team of young nurses that "you will rarely find such a young patient and so don't feel shy in touching his hand" had enough to heal the half of my fractures. Then I had felt like staying in a 5-star hotel and not in a hospital which I had often shared with my fellow beings. Following this incident, I would just call up TDR and ask for suitable medicine in case of any illness and the practice continues even today. In contrast, my first visit to NTPC Hospital was a complete catastrophe. I ended up hearing lectures/sermons from the lone lady eye doctor to further streamline my behaviour. Believe me, I treasured that moment as I never had this dialogue in my entire school days. I suddenly felt cold in my feet and looked onto the ground only to find that I was not wearing a half-pant. Then I was just 3-days-old at NTPC. The doc (as I love it to be pronunced) referred the same medicine that I had applied in my eye just before coming to her but did not disclose due to reasons best known to me. I could not save throwing my naughtiest smile upon her similar prescription which, I am sure, had added to her temper.

This is the third day. And hence there is enough reason to end this feeling of not-feeling-well. It's a tendency to generate symptoms in order to garner more sympathy when you are sick. I hate this practice. Thus, to register my ultimate protest, I ordered a half-litre bottle of RC (this was the fifth time I was going to do it which started only in late Dec 2008), egg bhuji and added to this was Pankaj Udhas' gazal flowing from my laptop. I switched off all the lights as it was raining outside, the first monsoon shower. What could be the better way to savour such a moment!!